Hey there. *waves* This is the first of a series of posts about the subsequent end of my marriage. Let’s get one thing out of the way right off. THIS BLOG IS NOT ABOUT BASHING MY HUSBAND. This is not going to be another blog about some woman wailing about how unfair life is and what an evil man her two-timing spouse is, or how she set fire to all of his belongings stuffed into his late-model luxury car in a vicadin-vodka-induced rage. (Although nothing about divorce is really fair, and I do reserve the right to wail at will). This is also not going to be about how you can “stick” it to your spouse and get him for all he’s worth if you too are going through this process.

This is a recounting, a journal, a memoir of sorts of what is proving to be one of the most difficult times in my life.

Ever.

I’m just starting this journey.

My husband and I have been separated since the end of last year, but I recently have been considering divorce. What I’ve realized (now that I’ve made up my mind) is that where I thought divorce was a straightforward matter, instead is proving to be extremely complicated. I’m seeking out help from friends that are divorced as well as obviously a lawyer and tons of research. I’ve decided to share my journey here (protecting the names of the people involved of course), as a way to help those who are also on this journey as well as some sort of cathartic eulogy of sorts to the life I once had.

I call this blog the burn pile because in order to make any great change in your life, you first have to let some things go. In my case it’s not just physical and emotional. I also need to figure out how to mentally change how I percieve myself and my place in the world so that I can move through this.

I realize that there really is no way to come out of this unscathed.

I just hope one day when I can stand on solid legs again and shake off the ashes, I’ll be able to run my hands over the healed scars like a warrior with fondness. Reminiscing over the battle, the journey, the fact that I took a hit and I got knocked down…a few times.

But I got up, marched forward and lived to tell the tale.

– Stormy